Bloggers are always harping on (myself included) about how amazing our ever growing community is, how friendly and helpful other bloggers can be and the fantastic collaborations that help grow our blogs, businesses and friendship groups to dizzying heights. But if you’re new to blogging or you just haven’t made these connections yet it can all seem like a fabulous party you didn’t get an invite to. So Cinderella, how can you go to the ball?
Stop Trying to Get with the ‘In’ Crowd
First up, stop expecting that fairy god mother to show up and get you on the guest list. One of the big mistakes is to make a bee line for the big time and expect to be welcomed into the fold with a virtual group hug from the biggest and best bloggers around. One of the fantastic things about blogging is how intimate it is and how you get to know the person behind the blogs you love. You’ve read their posts and can relate to them so it’s almost inevitable you want to be the new bff of your favourite bloggers, especially when they’re collaborating with and posting about their own blogger bezzies. But what you have to remember is these friendships were more than likely formed many years before their blogs were so successful and have grown into what they are today.
Think about it from their perspective. I imagine many of the most popular bloggers get hundreds of emails every day from new/striving bloggers who might want help or acceptance. It’s natural that we would want recognition from the people we look up to, but they are one person. They physically cannot help/befriend everyone who might read their blog and Tweet, Like, Comment and email them, so don’t take it personally. It’s not a reflection of you or your blog, it’s business.
That’s all great, but we’re still not dancing under the disco ball, margarita in hand right? So you have two options left: crash the party (spam like hell and hope someone notices. NOT RECOMMENDED) or start your own. Lets go with the latter.
Party Online
The best way to make blogging friends online is to find people at a similar level to yourself. This not only improves your chances of having that person relate to you, but will also be way more helpful in the long run as you encounter similar problems and resolve related issues. But forget that for now. Don’t see this as a networking exercise, make informed and genuine comments on blog posts and respond to Tweet conversations. Never expect anything in return and you’ll most likely be pleasantly surprised by the outcome.
I’ve ‘met’ some of my favourite bloggers this way. I regularly read and comment on blogs such as Thanks, I made it, The Crafted Life, Homey Oh My! Oh The Lovely Things and Hands Occupied (to name just a few) and they do the same for me too. We’ll share each others posts and events and have chats on Twitter. But more important than that we understand and can relate to ‘off days’ and some of the pressures of DIY blogging. It’s comforting to have that.
Lets celebrate in Real Life
We all like to think we craft the perfect persona through our blogs. You can choose which side of your personality (and face) to include and airbrush over the rest, but although we might think this shows us in our best light in reality it’s unrealistic and makes it harder for our audience to relate to us. This won’t help you make friends. Yes, I like many other bloggers out there am a bit of a socialphobe. Meeting a room full of new people usually fills me with dread, but more recently the nerves been given way to excitement. I’ve been making a conscious effort to meet fellow bloggers and attend meet ups or conventions. It’s meant less time for blogging but more time to get to know people. The most recent convention I attended was Blognix 2014. A fantastic meet up for Bloggers from anywhere in the UK (and beyond) organised by Elizabeth from Rosalilium and based right here in my home town, Birmingham (in fact it was held in the Custard Factory in which I work for my full time job. So this was very convenient!)
I’m ashamed to say I took a shocking lack of photos considering I was carrying my camera around all day. It’s because I was way too busy learning new things, chatting to bloggers from a range of genres and generally having a fantastic time! One of my highlights was making a small podcast at the The High Tea Cast ‘Pump Up The Volume – how to tell a story with your voice’ workshop with Sarah of the Prosecco Diaries and Diane of Nomad Seeks Home. It was so much fun we’re making plans for a podcast of our own which simultaneously excites and terrifies me! Which leads me onto my final point:
Be open to new experiences and step out of your comfort zone
Try new things and make the most of the chances you do have. Last week I met with Nicole from The Felted Fox. She’d emailed me letting me know she was staying close to Birmingham this week and we arranged to meet up. Bringing my friend Gemma who (not so) coincidentally is starting a blog for her business Jurassic Panda as our tour guide we went for both my own and Nicole’s first visit to the new library (it’s amazing), drank cocktails and chatted business, boys and blogging for a wonderful sunny afternoon.
I have no idea how these friendships might develop and whether we’ll work together in the future or not. I do know meeting some amazing people in the meantime and having a blast!
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Thanks for the post, a great and positive perspective!
Thanks Sam. It definitely helps to stay positive in these situations!
Aw, this was way cute and exactly what I needed to read :)
Completely agree. A lot of other blogs post about promotion and getting yourself noticed but it’s nice to have a simple positive post about keeping it real in the blog world and making friends. Thanks!
Thanks Flick. For me it’s one of the perks. I get to meet some really wonderful people and you can’t beat that! :D
ah, thanks Marcela. That’s ace! x
Wow, thank you for such a nice post. Being new to the blogging world, I don’t get that many views or comments. But then I realized that people are not gonna magically discover my blog and tell about it to everyone they know. I have to make friends but since I am quite shy, it can be kinda tricky. Thanks for encouraging me though! <3
Love, Elsa
Hey Elsa! Thanks so much for commenting.
I’ve also always been shy myself, so I know it can be really hard to just meet new people, let alone sell yourself (and your blog) to them. It takes a while for people to get to know the person behind the blog, so try to be yourself when you’re writing and let your personality shine through. I’m thinking of writing a post sharing my ‘secrets’ to getting your blog out there so look out for that one to help you get more views as well! x
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this in such a positive way. It’s hard to make friends as a new blogger in already established communities so this was lovely to read. I’m heading to The Blogcademy in London next month (can’t wait!) but maybe next year I will try out Blognix!
x
Oh! I’m so jealous. I would love to go to Blogcademy! And it would have been lovely to meet up. I’ll definitely be at Blognix next year so maybe I’ll see you there! :)
Fran, this post is amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a post touch on this specific topic in as real of a way as you have. I still often feel those feelings of being on the outside looking in, but still I’ve made so many real connections with tons of amazing bloggers, like yourself! It truly is the best part of all this blogging madness.
By the way, I don’t think I ever thanked you for inviting me to your group board on Pinterest. Thank you :) It’s one of my favorite boards! And also thanks for the shout-out in this post. You are an absolute sweetheart!
Hey Amy! It surprises me a little that you feel on the outside sometimes. You always have such wonderful (well deserved) comments on your blog, but I think we all fall into that trap of thinking that the grass is greener and everyone else is doing/getting something better than us. (thanks Facebook!) Also I completely agree. Getting to know other bloggers is definitely the best bit!
(p.s. You’re totally welcome about the Pinterest board. I have big plans for the future when I eventually have some time!!) xx
I needed this post, thank you! I am very new to the blogging game and I am working on being better at writing genuine and encouraging comments and connecting with others instead of just churning out blog posts! Love your blog, by the way! :)
Love this. It’s so easy to worry about getting in with the ‘right’ bloggers, when really the genuine connections are so much more rewarding (alright, I confess, I still get a kick out of ‘big’ bloggers knowing who I am). I’ve found Twitter is a great way to virtually meet people too.
Lovely to meet you on Saturday, by the way! I think there’s a few bloggers squirreled away in The Custard Factory.
Love this post – it’s so true, and I especially agree with the meeting up in person bit! Have made some fab friends through blogging :)
hey fran ! thank you so much for this post ! sometimes it’s hard putting hard work on one’s blog, like shooting it into a universe full of stars, none ever as close as to touch one’s posts. and it’s so good to know, that other people struggle/have been struggling with this too and that it gets better — because, as you wrote, useless spamming is not the way to go, truly.
sometimes i wonder though, what after years of networking and effort makes me still not be in the lucky position of being well-known. but alas, c’est la vie (: i guess it will all fall into place.
keep on the great work ! (: best wishes, alissa cha
Hey Alissa,
Yeah, it can definitely be difficult to keep motivated when you cannot see results. When I feel like I’m not doing well I like to set myself some achievable goals to boost my confidence a bit. It works a treat! Keep going, it’ll be worth it in the end xx
Thank you for this thoughtful post. It was definitely an insightful one. As a new blogger myself it can feel a bit daunting at times. Really good encouraging advice!
Just recently found your blog..it’s great! Looking forward to reading more! :) Best wishes!
Thanks Anouska x
Hi Fran, I just found your blog and I love this post! I’m new to blog land and I’m thankful for the support I’ve received from bloggers out there – you’re so right, they’re a super friendly and absolutely lovely bunch of people. Stepping outside my comfort zone is the hardest part I have to say – like so many bloggers out there I’m quite shy and not always the most social person but I’m going to try to find some meet-ups in my area and get things happening… and also comment more on blogs (starting now ha!). Thanks again for the advice xx
Hey Stephanie,
Your blog is so pretty, I can’t believe you’ve only started blogging this year! For me, meeting up with other bloggers gives me the confidence to talk about what I do with non bloggers. It’s so good to be around other people who get why you blog and understand it as a career choice! You’re making me want to look for meet ups now as well! :)
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